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Santa- Mujh se Wada Kar Ki
Teri Biwi Ki Pahli Kiss Mujhe Lene Dega, |
Cust:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka H? |
Ganja-Going On Road,Bird Shits
On Head |
Santa:Maine khat likha tha k
meri shadi pr ana,tum q ni aye? Banta:Mujhe khat nahi mila Santa:Maine likha tha ki khat mile ya na mile tum zarur ana. |
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When a Girl friend visit in hospital to meet u with flowers he says 'get well soon' & goes But When a True friend visit in hospital to meet u he sits near u & says 'yaar nurse pataka hai aram se thik hona.' |
Santa-"teri biwi tujhe
bartan se marti hai phir bhi tu khush kaise hai?" Banta-"jab uska nisana lag jata hai to wo khush, nahi lagne pe mai khush" |
apki yaad mein yeh dil tadapta raha, apki ek jhalak ko ye dil machalta raha, phiche mudkar dekha to ALLOUT chalu tha.. |
Interviewer: what is your
birth date? Sardar: 14th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu k pathe EVERY YEAR |
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SANTA MUJRA Dekne Gaya, SariRat Dekha MujreWali Ne kaha SAAB Humne Apko KHUSH kiya, Ab Ap Hume KHUSH karo SANTA Utha Or NACHNE LAGA... |
BOY:Mujhse shaadi karogi.. |
Techr-active se pasive me badlo "bache jb sunsan jagho pe chale jate hai to hadso ko jnam dete hai".studnt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko jnam dete hai. |
Santa:
Are yaar light chali gayi hai kamse kam fan to chalu kar do, |
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Biwi: suniye, aap ko dono
me se kya jyada achcha lagta hai? meri khubsurti ya meri akalmandi? |
Do Dost ghar ja rahe the,
Ekaek pehle ne dusre ko tamacha mara to dusre ne gaal shahlaate hue pucha
"Bhai tumne mujhe tamacha kyon mara?" |
1stSardar-Maine apni BIWI ko12th pass karaya,fir B.A.fir M.A.,uski Govt. job bi lagva di, Ab kya karu?2ndSardar-accha sa ladka dekh ke SHAADI KARDE. |
SANTA:Ur Son Is Dead After Hearng dis. Santa Jumps Frm50th Flor 35Flr He Realizs:I Dont Hav Son 20Flr:I m Not Marrid & 3rdFlr:SHIT I m Banta |
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Santa: ooji gaddi badi
changi, hai kya naam hai is gaddi ka? |
Aaj k baad na
SMS
kerna, na koi call kerna, |
Santa: Wo ladki shayad
behri hai lagta hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, wo kuch aur hi bolti hai. |
Santa roz apni x girl friend ke ghar ke
samne Potty karta tha, x girl friend: aisa kyu karte ho? Santa: tumhe ye batane ke liye ki tumhare Pyar ke bina mai bhukha nahi mar raha hu. |
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Ek ladki thi deewani c Mobile lekar chalti thi Nazrain jhuka k Sharma k Mobile me jaane kya dekha karti thi Kuch karna tha shayad usko Par jane kis se darti thi Jab bhi milti thi mujhse Yehi puchha karti thi Ye ON kaise hota hai, Ye ON kaise hota hai aur main sirf yehi kahta tha ye mobile nahi TV ka remote hai |
Sardar :
kal jo shampoo liya tha uske saath wala free gift do. |
Ek aadmi
apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai. Aur barabar mein bhi,
ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai- |
Dr. k
Bandh Clinic k aage lambi line thi, |
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Santa Singh tezi se
daudta aaya aur clinic me daakhil hua, mujhe bacha lo doctor sahab, main
marnewala hoon. Doctor: Tumhe kaise pata chala? |
Ek admi apne dost ke ghar roz roz jata tha. Dost k bachche use chacha-chacha kehte the, to use bada achcha lagta tha. Achanak ek din bachche mama-mama bolne lage. Bhatejon se pucha ki kya ho gaya ? Bachcho ne saaf kiya ki jab aap aa rahe the, to papa ne mummi se kaha ki saalaa phir aa raha hai. |
Woman: Sir, mai apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon? |
Zamindar: Agar Main Subah
Apni Car Me Niklun To Sham Tak Main Apni Aadhi Zamen B Nahi Dekh Sakta..! Santa : Hamare Paas Bhi Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi. |
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1 truck dusre truck ko rassi s band kar leja raha tha,yeh dekh kar 1 sardar hass hass k kehne laga 1 Rassi ko le jaane k liye do do truck! |
A TRAGIC Love STORY: A pig fell in Love
with a Hen, 1 day they kissed each other, Next day the Pig died of Bird
Flu & Bird died of Swine Flu |
Ur eyes Pataka,ur lips Rocket,ur ears
Chakri,ur smile Fuljdi,ur style Anar,ur personality Bomb Beta yaha se nikl le I'm coming with MOMBATTI |
Way 2 impress a girl: > respect her > honor her > love her > protect her > care for her But, How 2 impress a boy >just smile once "GameOver". |
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Admi- sahab ye apka kutta to bilkul admi
jaisa dikhta hai Kya khilate ho? Sahab- ye kutta nahi mera beta hai. Engineering kar raha hai, exam chalu hai. |
Boy- sir ne thappad mara Dad- kyu? Boy- sir ne pucha 2x3=?, maine kaha 6 Phir pucha 3x2=? Dad- gadhe dono same hota hai, Boy- maine bhi sir ko aise hi kaha tha. |
College ke first day; ladka: tumhara naam
kya hai? Ladki: mujhe sab didi kehte hai, Ladka: wow.!! mujhe sab JIJA JI kehte hain! |
Teacher: tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student: shadi, Teacher: nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge? Student: dulha, Teacher: nahi i mean kya hasil karoge? Student: dulhan... |
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1 gunde ka beta oral exam me fail hua to baap se bola: un logo ne 3 ghante tak meri puchtach ki magar apun bhi tera beta hu, sala muh nahi khola. |
After a kiss Girl silently says to boy 'Kiss me once again & i will be yours foraver, Boy- thanks for the warning. |
After almost 30 years amitabh can finally answer shashi kapoor.." agar tumhare paas MAA hai to mere paas 'PAA' hai. |
Teacher: bachcho,ye kitab
kiski hai? |
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** ** Girlfriend ko manane ke tarike ** INTERNET se online Dollars kamaane k tarike..FREE ** |