More SMS Pages

Anniversary SMS
April Fool SMS
Best of Luck SMS

Birthday SMS

Christmas SMS
Dashahara SMS
Dhanteras SMS

Diwali SMS

Eid SMS
Exam SMS
Fathers Day SMS
Friendship Day SMS
Ganesh Chaturthi SMS

Happy New Year SMS

Holi SMS

Independence Day SMS
Krishna Janmashtami SMS
Maha Shivratri SMS
Makar Sankranti SMS
Monsoon SMS
Mothers Day SMS
Navratri SMS
Raksha Bandhan SMS
Republic Day SMS
Teachers Day SMS
Valentines Day SMS
Double Meaning Jokes
Funny Sexy Kahani

Funny SMS

Insult & Fool SMS

Riddle SMS
Santa Banta SMS
Sardar Ji SMS
Sexy Jokes
Double Meaning SMS

Friendship SMS

Good Morning SMS
Good Night SMS
I Miss you SMS

Love SMS

Romantic SMS
Sad SMS

Sexy SMS

Chhattisgarhi SMS
Computer Shayari
Double Meaning Shayari
Friendship Shayari
Funny Shayari
I Miss you Shayari
Love Shayari
Romantic Shayari
Sad Shayari
Sexy Shayari
Jokes e-Book
Shayari e-Book
Wishes e-Book
Ladki Patane Ke 151 Formulas
Girlfriend Ko Manane Ke Tarike
Data Entry Job
Earn From Blog
Get Paid to Sell Your Photo
Make Money at Home
Make Money Without Investment
Chat with Girls
Chat with Boys

Sexy Wallpapers

Sexy Screensavers

Free Ringtones

Send FREE SMS

FREE Games Download

Send e-Card

FREE Website Hosting
FREE Mobile Software

Add Your SMS

Guest Book
mail us
About us
Advertisement
Click here for more Latest SMS, Jokes, Shayari Collection

Join SMSMasti Group

 

Search

  

 

Santa cricket khel kar aaya,
Banta- kitne runs banaye?
Santa- century hone me 100 runs baki the...
mai out ho gaya!.
Banta to santa: "Mujhe Apni Ring De Do Mai Ring Ko Dekh K Tumhe Yaad Karuga.."
Santa: "Tum ye Soch k Yaad Karna Ki maine Ring Mangi Thi Or Usne Nhi Di."
Banta: Mujhe Mehanti, Saadgi Se Rehne Wali, aagyakari aur Ghar Sanwar Kar Rakhne Wali Ladki Chahiye.
Banta: Mere Ghar Aake Meri Naukrani Ko Le Jana.
Santa ne 1 raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha- aapne pehchana mujh ko?
Ladki- nahi..!!
Santa- mai wahi hu jisko aapne parso bhi nhi pehchana tha...!!
Santa Bill gates se- tum pagal ho
Bill- why?
Santa- Tumhara surname GATES hai aur business tum WINDOWS ka karte ho.
Santa- Yaar mere Baal bahot Gir Rahe hain.
Banta- par kaise ?
Santa- Tension Se.
Banta- kis baat ki Tension?
Santa- Baal girne ki.
Santa: mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya.
Banta: phir tumne kya kiya?
Santa: maine usse kaha Google pe search kar Lo.
Santa : "Ek Kilo Gaay Ka Dhoodh Dena."
Banta : "Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bahut Chhota Hai."
Santa :"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de."
Teacher- tum bade ho kr kya karoge?
Santa- shaadi.
teacher- nahi, mera matlab h ki tum bade hokar kya banoge.
Santa- "PAPA"
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega.!
Santa london k Hotel me murgi khane gaya lekin murgi ka english word bhul gaya.
Waiter: what do u like to have sir?
Santa: Egg's mother.!
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.....!
Santa: Muje Shak Hai, Meri Biwi Ki Chaddi Tere Bedroom Me Hai
Banta: yar Bhabhi Chaddi Kaha Pahnti Hai
Santa: Are han Sorry faltu hi Tujh Pe Shak Kiya.
Santa- Maine apni BIWI ko 12th pass karaya, fir B.A.fir M.A., uski Govt. job bi lagva di, Ab kya karu?
Banta- achcha sa ladka dekh ke SHAADI KARDE.
Girl to Santa: Kya shaadi ke baad bhi tum mujhe itna pyaar karoge..??
Santa: Kyon nahin..? Main to diwana hoon shaadi-shuda aurton ka.
Jungle me sher aa gaya,
Santa ne mitti uthayi sher ki aankh me dalke
bhagte hue chikha 'Abe Bhag'
Banta: Main kyun bhagu? Mitti to tune dali hai.
Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri
aakhri icchha kya hai?
Santa: Mere pair upar aur sir niche kar k faansi
de do!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi
farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha
ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: Yaar Banta tere ghar me'LATRIN' bani hai kya?
Banta: Ha bani hai.Aur tere ghar me.
Santa:Nahi yaar mere ghar to DAAL CHAAVAL bane hain.
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Santa ko party ka invitation mila
jisme likha tha "PINK TIE ONLY"
Santa party me gaya to surprise ho gya Usne dekha logo ne PANT-SHIRT BHI PEHNE the.
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Santa- Inse Milo Ye Meri Patni SANN0 !
Banta- Ha Janta Hoon, Kisi Jamane Me Hum Ek Saath Soya Karte The..!
Santa- Kya.?
Banta- Haa..!
Hindi Ki Class me.
Santa subah Tatti gaya..
Bahut der tak nahi aayi
Usne fir try kiya par nahi aayi
Santa bola are aa q nahi rahi hai !
Mai kaun sa tujhe kha jaunga.
What's the difference between Bus & Cycle??
Santa:- Bus ka stand bus ke sath kabhi nahi jaata Par Cycle ka stand humesha Cycle ke sath jata hai.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a Girl Zamindar: Agar Main Subah Apni Car Me Niklu To Sham Tak Main Apni Aadhi Zamen B Nahi Dekh Sakta..!
Santa : Hamare Paas Bhi Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi.
Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.
Santa: darling aaj barsat ka din hai, koi aisi romantic baat kaho ki mere pair jamin pe na rahe,
wife: darling fansi laga lo.
petrol ke daam badne par santa ne kaha - mainu koi pharak nahi padta, pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha , ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon. santa k ghar ek din sasural wale aye
biwi ne santa ko kaha ki jao aur mahemano k liye kuch lekar aao.
santa bahar gaya aur taxi le kar aa gaya.
Santa was seated In A cricket ground..
Security: Cricket match is over now, why r u stil sitting?
santa: oye yaar, i m waiting for highlights
Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga,
Banta: Kya hua,ro kyu rohe ho?
Santa:Yar jis ladki ko bhulaneke liye pe raha tha uska naam yad nahi araha he
Santa was walking through forestHe saw a snake hanging on the tree...
Santa: Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
Santa: Yaar, kal main bathroom gaya to waha Lion tha
Banta: Phir kya Hua?
Santa: Kuch nhi, main kha,tum kar lo
Meri to waise hi Nikal gayi
Santa comes to school with 1 black and 1 white shoe.
Teacher - Go home and change.
Santa- sir, ghar me bhi ek black aur white hi hai.!
Santa likes to study in front of the mirror.
Why?
1- revision ka time bachta hai
2- combined study hoti hai
3- ek dusre ke doubts clear kar sakte hai.
Dr- jab apko pata tha CHiPKALi apke KAAN me GHUS rahi hai to
aap CHUP kyu the?
Santa-pehle COCKROCH gaya tha to mujhe laga ki wo use pakadne ja rahi hai.
Santa- 'sala kal raat 3 ghanta picture ki CD dekhi, na kuch scenes dikaha na awaz sunai di'
Banta- 'movie ka naam kya tha?'
Santa- 'NO DISC INSERTED'
Santa:bus stand tak jane k kitnay paise
Taximan:40rs
Santa: 2rs me chalega?
taximan:2rs me kaun jayega?
Santa: piche baith me leke jata hu..
Santa- Mujh se Wada Kar Ki Teri Biwi Ki Pahli Kiss Mujhe Lene Dega,
Banta- Wada, Par Meri Bhi Ek Shart Hai?
Santa- Bol kya?
Banta- Main Shadi Teri Bahan Se karunga..
Santa: Maine khat likha tha k meri shadi pr ana,tum q ni aye?
Banta: Mujhe khat nahi mila,
Santa: Maine likha tha ki khat mile ya na mile tum zarur ana.
Santa- "teri biwi tujhe bartan se marti hai phir bhi tu khush kaise hai?"
Banta- "jab uska nisana lag jata hai to wo khush, nahi lagne pe mai khush"
Santa Prays Daily 2 Hour- Hey uper wale Meri Lottery Lagade
11 Sal K Baad upar wala Gusse Me Prakat Hoke Bole-
Abe Santa 1 Bar Ticket To Le le.
Santa: Are yaar light chali gayi hai kamse kam fan to chalu kar do,
Banta: lo kar di na bewkufo jaisi baat, Santa: Kyo???
Banta: Fan chalu karunga to mombatti nahi bujh jayegi.
Santa ne 1 machis ki tili jalai
nhi jali
2 jalai,
nai jali
3 jalai
Vo jal gyi
To santa ne jaldi se bujha di or bola-Ye kam ki hai rakh leta
SANTA MUJRA Dekne Gaya,
SariRat Dekha
MujreWali Ne kaha
SAAB Humne Apko KHUSH kiya,
Ab Ap Hume KHUSH karo
SANTA Utha
Or NACHNE LAGA...
Santa.: Ur Son Is Dead
After Hearng dis. Santa Jumps From 50th Flore
35 Flore He Realizs:I Dont Have Son
20 Flore:I m Not Marrid
&
3rd Flore:SHIT I m Banta
Santa: ooji gaddi badi changi, hai kya naam hai is gaddi ka?
LADY: I don't remember the name but it starts with "T".
Santa: wahji apki gaddi to kamal ki hai jo TEA se shuru hoti hai. humari gaddi to petrol se hi start hoti hai.
Santa roz apni x girl friend ke ghar ke samne Potty karta tha,
x girl friend: aisa kyu karte ho?
Santa: tumhe ye batane ke liye ki tumhare Pyar ke bina mai bhukha nahi mar raha hu.
Santa ko uska sasur peet raha tha..

kyu?

Jab uski wife ko beta hua, Dr. Ne usko SMS kiya.."Mubark ho ap baap ban gaye"
Santa ne msg sabko forward kar diya.
Santa was SHOPPING
.
.
Shopkeeper- sir ! Do u want a POCKET CALCULATOR ?
.
.
Santa- No thanks!
I know how many pockets i have!
Santa driving on the wrong side of a one way Road,
became upset and said: SHIT, I think I am late to the function.... All r going back.
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks
'aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shop owner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara wala dena!'.
Nurse- Mubarak Ho Aapke Ghar Beta Paida Huwa Hai
Sardar- Wah G Wah Kya Technology Hai
BV Meri Hospital Me Hai Aur Bachcha Ghar Paida huwa Hai.
In MBA classroom Prof. asked to Santa:
"If i buy n item Rs.12.75 & sell Rs.15.25", its profit or loss?
Santa: its Profit in rupees & Loss in paise.
Judge-Tum par cycle chori ka ilzaam sabit nahi hua,
Lihaza tumko baa-izzat bari kiya jata hai.
Santa- Iska matlab mai Wo Cycle rakh lu?
Sardar to police- Kal raat chor mere ghar se tv k ilawa sab saamaan le gaye
Pol: tv kyon nahi ?
Santa: tv to me dekh raha tha na.
Dr.- Dawai Hila Ke Piya Karo,
Santa- Dr. Saheb, Hilane Se Dawai Chammach Se Gir Jati Hai aur Phir Zameen Se Chaatni Padti Hai.
3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop
Santa-shouted oye pehle hi teen baithe hai tu kaha baithega.
Santa- ghar ma mera hi hukam chalta hai
mai kehta hu, garam pani lao, wo le aati hai
Banta- garam pani kyu?
Santa- garam pani ma hi bartan ache dhulte hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: why r u removing a wheel from your auto?
Santa: Can't u read Parking for two wheelers only..
Santa- agar apko Garmi lage to aap kya karte ho?
Banta- Cooler k samne baith jata hu,
SAnta- phir bhi Garmi lage to?
Banta-Cooler on kar leta hu.
Teacher- kaonsa animal zameen aur pani dono jagah rahta hai?
Santa- mendak
Teacher- good..! ab aise 3 aur janwaro k naam batao?
Santa- mendak k papa, mummy aur bhai.
Santa looked miror & said- Isko kahi dekha hai,
Then he said- Yaad aaya, ye to wahi kamina hai
jo meri shadi ki album me meri Biwi ke sath hai.
Dentist: Oye tera 1 daant neela kaise ho gaya?
Santa: INK laga rakhi he
dentist: magar kyu?
Santa: aaj kal BLUETOOTH ka Zamana hai.
Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha,
Banta- kya kar rhe ho?
Santa- Lassi bana raha hu,
Banta-isi liye log hum par joke banate hai,
Itni Lassi tera Baap Piyega?
Santa- which Soap do u use?
Banta- Tom's soap,
Tom's paste
Tom's brush
Santa- is Tom an international brand ?
Banta- no, he's my room mate.
ek ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli- aaj ki naari kya nahi kar sakti?
santa bola
"DEEWAR PE SUSU"
Santa at petrol pump-1-/Rs ka petrol dal do
Salesman-Itna Petrol dalwa k kaha jaoge?
Santa-Kahi nhi, hum to aise hi paise udate hai.
Teacher: Translate Bazaar me goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market
Santa: kya tumhari underwear me 2 chhed hai?
Banta: no!
Santa:to fir tange kahan se dalte ho?
Santa public toilet gaya aur 1 ghante baad nikla.
baahar baitha jamadar bola- 20 rs.
Santa- saale.. bathroom me betha tha..
koi CYBER cafe me nahi..
Santa: aaj mere padosi ka bachcha gum ho gaya.
Meine mashwara diya to maar padi.
Banta: tumne kya kaha tha?
Santa: Maine kaha 'google' par search karlo...
Santa sitting on road, Banta ask y r u wasting time?
Santa: I m taking revenge.
Banta: How?
Santa: Waqt ne muje barbad kiya hai, ab mai waqt barbad kar raha hu.
Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad irshad.

Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad...

Santa- abe kutte bolne to de.

Banta- wah....wah.
Santa drives in to one- way & cross NO ENTRY board-
Policeman- oye NO ENTRY ka board nAhi dekha?
Santa- Mujhe laga film ka poster hai.
Santa ki chhatri me hole tha,
Banta ne pucha: umbrella me hole kyu hai?
Santa: Oye, baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
Santa- teacher, did u know that hens r more intelligent than us?
Teacher - How?
Santa- because after every problem we write.
HENS proved.
Teacher: which comes first - sun or moon?
Santa: Obviously moon
Teacher: How!?...
Santa: Only after honey 'MOON',
'SON' will be born!
Santa ne market me ek khoobsurat ladki dekhi aur sochne laga...
..
kaash!
..
..
ye meri
..
..
maa hoti to mai bhi itna hi khoobsurt hota.
Santa said something in Banta's ear & Banta died.

Take a wild guess
what did he say?
?

?

?

"Dhishkiyaon"
Santa Singh tezi se daudta aaya aur clinic me daakhil hua, mujhe bacha lo doctor sahab, main marnewala hoon. Doctor: Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Santa Singh: Do saal pehle maine jeevanbhar kaam aanewala pen kharida tha, aaj wo achanak tut gaya.
Santa- I am suffering with loose motions
Doctor- Have you tried lemon
Santa- Yes I have but when I remove it, they continue.
Santa BLOOD k bare me
book pad rha tha...
Biwi: aaj ye kyu pad rahe ho?
Santa: mujhe Dr. ne kaha hai ki kal BLOOD test hai is liye test ki taiyari kar raha hu.
Santa: Biwi se ladai khatm hui?
Banta: Ghutne tek k mere pas aai thi
Santa: usne ghutne tek k kya kaha?
Banta: yahi ki bed k niche se nikal aao, kuch nahi kahugi.
snta roj subah ped ki
daali pe chad k baith
jaata tha...

Pucho Q?

Kyu ki MBA karke wo
apne aap ko Branch
Manager samjta tha.
Santa: gaadi me petrol khatam ho gaya, ab ye aage nahi jaayegi.
Banta: to fir vapas lele.
Preeto khana bana rahi thi aur pucha-namak kidhar hai?
Santa- namak nahi hai.
Preeto- to daal me kya daalu?
Santa- "colgate" dalo, usme namak hai.
Santa k 9 beto me 1 alag dikhta tha, Usne marte waqt biwi se pucha, Ab to sach bata, ye alag dikhne wala kiska hai,
Biwi- ye 1 hi to apka hai.
Santa: will u marry after my death?
Wife: no i will live with my sister,
Wife: will u marry after i die,
Santa: no i will also live with your sister.
Santa: "i love u"
Means kya hota hai?
Girl: mai tumse pyar karti hu,
Santa: le 1 question kya pucha, tu to mujhse pyar kar baithi "Pagli"
a lady kissed a lion inside d cage in a circus.
Ring master: Can any1 do it?
Santa: mai kar sakta hu.. Par pehle samne se LION ko hata.

Biwi: tumara Banta ki biwi k sath sambndh hai,
Sharam aani chahiye,
Santa: sorry,
Par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Biwi: Banta aaj tumari undrwear pehan k aaya tha.

Captain- kisi ko tufaan se bach nikalne ki dua aati hai?
Santa raised hand..
Captain- ok.. aap dua par guzara karo, hamare paas 1 life jacket kam hai.
In a 1oo meter race,it was announced
1
2
3

Start

All started running except Santa,
Coach- why are you still waiting?
Santa- my no is 4.
Santa to guest: thanda piyoge ya garam,
Guest: dono le aao,
Santa: 1 glass freezer se aur 1 glass geyser se pani ka le aao.

Santa- agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
mai desh ki takdir badal dunga..
Wife- tum pehle apna pajama to badal lo
subah se ulta pehan rakha hai.

How can u identify Santa in a classroom?

Think

Think

Very simple

Just see

Who is erasing notes When teacher is erasing blackboard.
Santa- agar nariyal k ped par chad jau to eng. College ki ladkiya dikh jayengi
Banta- fir hath chhod dena,to medical college ki bhi dikh jayengi.
Santa ne 1 raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha-
aapne pehchana mujh ko?
Ladki- nahi,
Santa- mai wahi hu jisko aapne parso bi nahi pehchana tha...!

Santa docter se- "mujhe subah 7 baje susu aata hai aur 8 baje potti aati hai"
Docter- "to isme problem kya hai?"
Santa- "magar meri nind to 9 baje khulti hai."

Qatil- try karna mujhe umar qaid ho fansi nahi
Santa lawyer- ok i will,
after court
Qatil- kya hua?
Santa- bahut mskil se umrqaid mili court to riha kar raha tha.
Santa- main tere 64 k 64 daant tod dunga.
1 admi bola- daant to
32 hote hai!
Santa- mujhe pata tha tu bich me bolega, isliye tere bhi gin liye the.
Santa : zara car se bahar dekhna ki indicator chal rahe hai ki nahi ?
Banta : bahar dekh kar "haan, nahi, haan, nahi, haan, nahi, haan, nahi".

Santa k ghar chor aa gaya aur usko dekh k bhaga, wo uske piche bhaga...
Bhagte bhagte chor se bhi aage nikala gaya aur bola- ek to chori, upar se hamare sath race.

A sweet girl goes 2 Santa's shop & said: mujhe under wear dikhao?
Santa sarmate hue: aaj pehankar nahi aaya.
Santa- meri biwi ne kaha main apse pagar badhane ke liye kahu.
Boss- main apni biwi se puchunga pagar badhau ya nahi.
Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya: Santa tadap tadap k marne hi wala tha,..

Ki use yaad aaya ki...

Bijli 2 din se band hai.

Santa: mera ghar itna bada hai ki uske ander local train chalti hai,
Banta: mera to itna bada hai ki agar ek se dusre kone chale jao to roaming lagta hai.!!

jailor- tum kiss jurm me aaye ho?
santa- bas kuch khaas nahi jailor saab, sarkar ke saath competition ho gaya tha.
jailor- kiss baat ka?
santa- note chhapne ka.
Santa ped k upar ulta latka hua tha.
Banta: tu ped par kyu latka hai?
Santa: sar dard ki goli khayi thi kahi pet me na chali jaye isliye.
Ek baar Santa church gaya.. Waha achanak lights off ho gayi aur tabhi church ki ghanti baji..
Santa chillaya- 'bhago.. Undertaker aa gaya..!

Santa apne liye ladki dekhne gaya...
Ladki wale "hamari ladki lakho me ek hai"
Santa: "lekin mere pass to sirf 1500 rupye hi hai"

Santa- beta 3 bister kyu lagaye.
Beta- ghar pe 3 guest aayenge.
Santa- kaun?
beta- nani ka beta, mumy ka bhai aur mera mama.
Santa- fir ek or laga mera saala bhi aa raha hai.
Santa: yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?
Banta: likh ki "is sheet par likhe gaye ans. Kalpnik hai, Jinka kisi bhi book se koi sambandh nahi hai".
Santa- yaar, tune pure toilet me potty kyu kar di?
Banta- mobile ki wajah se.
Santa- kaise?
Banta- tune wo ad nahi dekhi.. 'Walk when u talk'
Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya:
Santa tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha,

Ki

Use yaad aaya ki Bijli 2 din se band hai.
Santa- main tere 64 k 64 daant tod dunga.
Banta- daant to
32 hote hai!
Santa- mujhe pata tha tu bich me bolega isliye tere bhi gin liye the.
Wife apni dono taange khol kar santa k samne let gai aur santa se boli: "kya tum jante ho ki iska matlab kya hai?"
Santa: "ha janta hu iska matlab, tu saali pure bed par akeli sona chahti hai."

Shaadi me Santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha dusre ne pucha "kab tak khaoge?"
Santa: "main to khud kha kha ke thak gaya hu par card me likha tha Diner: 7 pm to 11 pm.."

Santa ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha, Santa ne new sim kharid kar use msg kiya, "Maine wo sim band kar diya hai ab tera baap bhi mujhe tang nahi kar sakta."
 

Bookmark and Share

   

 

Love Guru