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Send JOIN SHAKTIMAAN to 0987O8O7O7O for Receive daily new Sexy Jokes (its FREE)

Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY. Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: ok, to Kaun sa utaroon?

Rocket & Plane
Plane says: " yaar Rocket tum itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate ho?"
Rocket: "yeh to wohi jaane jis k ga#d main AAG lagi ho...."

Doctor: Aapke ghutne me moch kaise aai,
Lady: I was f~cked in doggy style. Doctor: Don't u know any other styles?
Lady: I know, but my dog doesn't….!!!

Wife:"Dr. mere pati k Lu#d pe madhumukkhi ne kata hai"
Dr.: "oh!, suujh gaya, Dard bhi hai kaya?"
Wife:" Ji han, lekin sirf dard ki Dawa do, suujan rahne do. !

Iss nav warsh main aapko Saand ki Shakti, Raand ki Bhakti, Kareena ki Pussy, Raveena ki Chuchi, SX ka Gyan, Boobs ka Dhyaan, Lu#d ki Lambaai Aur Choot ki Garmai Praapt ho....!

Man was smoking in a bus, condctor said, “No smoking ka board nahi dikhta?”
Man: Saale uske side main “Always wear condom” ka board bhi hai ab woh bhi pehen ke bethu kya?

Ek Kauwa(crow) Sardar k upar Shit(tatti) kar deta hai to Sardarni tissue paper lakar deti hai,
Sardar kehta hai : "Ab kiski ga#d ponchhu? Kauwa to udd gaya.....!"

Sardar G to his friend: "yaar badi mushkil mein hoon, meri BV mujhse ek kiss ka 100 Rs. leti hai"
Friend: "Achcha, yaar tu to bada hi Lucky hai, dusron se to wo 500 Rs. leti hai".

What is the similarity between a PEN!S and a !ODEX ?
...."andar tak jaaye, garmahat laaye, aaraam dilaye...."

Suhagrat k baad Santa ne apni wife se pucha Kaisa laga?
uski Wife boli: 5% Dard, 5% Maza aur 90% Purani yaade.

Ek 25 year ka Ladka 65 year k Woman se Shadi karne k 2 din bad mar gaya.....
Kyoki usne expired Milk p liya tha.

Nan: Dr. mere urine report me kya hai.
Dr.: u r Pregnant.
Nan: o my god ! ab to Candle ka bhi bharosa nahi !!!!!

A lady from 2nd floor asking a kelawala: Kaise diye? kelawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara. Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

Ye LADKI bhi ajeeb cheez hai yaar, zara sa kuch KAHO to muuh fuula deti hai aur zara sa kuch KARO to Chaddi fuula deti hai !!!

Hindi Teacher k Pent ka Zip khula dekhkar sabhi students hansne lage to Teacher ne kaha: "Jyada mat haso nahi to Bahar nikalkar Khada kar dunga".

Tange utha k karo. Tange faila k karo. Ghuma ghuma k karo. Aage piche dono taraf karo, Jitna karoge utna halka mehsoos hoga. * it is yoga *

Maa Beti se: "Agar koi tere Bra ko touch kare to kehna Don't, aur agar Penty ko touch kare to kehna Stop."
Dusre Din Beti maa se kehti hai: aaj ek ladke ne mere Bra aur Penty ko ek sath touch kiya to maine kaha "Don't Stop".

Munna bhai says:
“Life mein 3
cheezon k peeche kabhi nahi
bhaagne ka.
Bole to….. BUS……… TRAIN………
aur…………. LADKI………… bole to inpe sidha chad jaane ka.

6 yrs boy k rape case me pakda jane par:
Court me Lowyer(Boy ka Lu#d pakde hue): "ur honour is chhote se bachche ko dekho kya ye rape kar sakta hai?"
Boy to lawyer: "Itna na hila, nahin to case haar jayenge!!"

Jab apko TATTI na aaye...
aap baithe baithe thak jaye...
Pressure bhi na aaya...
yaad karke dekhna hume...
shayad apki Ga#d phat jaye, aur dast lag jaye.

Pair dabate hue saas ka ghaghra sarak gaya, Bahu ne PRANAM kiya. Saas boli: Are ye kya kar rahi hai?
Bahu boli: Are Sasu G yahi to hai mere Pati ki Janm bhumi aur Sasur ki Karm bhumi.

Husband: "Plz aaj karne do mai tumhare liye kapde la dunga.
Wife: No...!!
Husband: Jewar la dunga,
Wife: No..!!!!!
Beta bola: " Papa aap meri Ga#d maar lo par naya CYCLE dila do."

Pati- "aao SX kare "
Patni- "pehle Condom to lagao"
Pati- "Condom to pata nahi maine kaha rakh diya"
Patni- "ye roz ki bakarcho#i se to achcha hai ki Lamination karwa lo"

Degrees for girls-
BA: Beautiful Ass
LLB: Lovely Lickable Breast
BSC: Beautiful Sexy Cunt
MBBS: Member of Big Boobs Society
MBA: Married But Available

Why do 90% of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
   )    (
 ( .)( . )
  )  .  ( 
because.... 90% of the boys are right handed..

santa and banta lost in a jungle.after 2 days of struggle for food and water santa asked to banta.yaar meri ga#d maar le.bunta why?santa Replied: "yaar kuch to ander jayega"

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team antakshari khelne k liye bani-
Girls: Hum tumko haraakar dikhayenge.....
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.

Santa: Mein tumhare liye churiyan laya hoon.
Maid: Aap hi pehna dijiye.
Santa: Mujhe tumhara response pehle pata hota to mein panty lekar aata

Boy: Can I touch u r Software,
Girl: First show me u r Hardware,
Boy: Can I Download it in u r Hole?
Girl: use ANTIVIRUS first.

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai. 

Gabbar: Basanti tatti kar.
Viru: nahi Basanti in kutto ke samne tatti mat karna ye log tujhe paani nahi denge aur mujhse teri Ga#d chatwaaenge! !!

Man: Doc mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doc: R u married?
NO.
Do u hv a g/f?
NO.
Do u go to prostitutes?
NO.
Doc: To khada karke kya calendar tangega?

Ladki ki bra nikalo to Des me nikla hoga chand, penty utaro to Khul ja sim sim, ch*do to Kya masti kya dhoom, ch~dne k baad Kasauti zindagi ki.

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Mom banungi, Parhungi, Shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo ! par zara serial order mein karna.

A for Apple,
B for Bada  Apple,
C for Chhota Apple,
D for Do Apple,
E for Ek aur Apple,
F for Faltu Apple,
G for Ga#d me bhar le saare Apple.

Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard k saath baithi thi

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